My spirits sink. The irritating prick takes too much time opening the bottle. Is he trying to entertain us? Or is it just Ana he wants to impress? He finally pops the cork and pours a taste for me. I take a quick sip. Each trying to discern what the other is thinking. When she opens them, I see her despair. I feel like the sun has set and not risen for five days, Ana. It made me relax. She inhales sharply. Her open and honest compassion is written all over her lovely face as she reaches for her wine.
This is my chance. I need to know. Can she? I want to stop thinking about that right now, and with impeccable timing, the waiter returns with our meal.
And it will have nothing to do with my sexual gratification. Stow your twitching palm, please. She picks up her cutlery with stubborn reluctance but she takes one bite, closes her eyes, and licks her lips in satisfaction.
The sight of her tongue is enough to provoke a response from my body—already in a heightened state from our kiss in the alley. Hell, not again! I stop my response in its tracks. Slicing into my steak, I take a bite. This is good. Her reaction to the kiss in the alley was…visceral. She still wants me. She interrupts my reverie. Listening to this singer reminds me that I have the iPad for Ana. I hope that she lets me give it to her, and that she likes it. In addition to the music I uploaded yesterday, I spent some time this morning adding more features—photographs of the glider on my desk and of the two of us at her graduation ceremony and a few apps, too.
Is she deliberately trying to goad me? As if on cue, my phone vibrates in my jacket pocket, signaling a message. I glance at my watch. The thought of deferring my desire displeases me.
Besides, this way I have you in the car all to myself—for a few hours, at least. What can we do but talk? I shift uncomfortably in my chair.
Stage three of the campaign has not gone as smoothly as I anticipated. The waiter returns and I give him my card, but I keep my attention on Ana. My heart rate accelerates. I hope she goes for this…or I really will be lost. The waiter hands me the credit card slip to sign. I enter an obscene tip and sign my name with a flourish. The waiter seems excessively grateful. My phone buzzes and I scan the text. The waiter gives me my card back and disappears. We both stand and I take her hand.
Her breathing accelerates. I glance at her face. Her lips are parted, cheeks pink and eyes wide. The sight fills me with hope and desire. I stifle my impulses and lead her through the restaurant and outside, where Taylor is waiting at the curb in the Q7. I have an idea. Taylor gets out to open the door for me.
As ever, he surprises me. Taking a deep breath, I climb into the car. He regards me for a second in the mirror and pulls out into the light evening traffic. Anastasia is watching me when I turn to face her. I call him again, then lean over and tap his shoulder. He removes an earbud. Do you want a regular vanilla relationship, with no kinky fuckery at all? She knows me. She has seen the monster. I ignore her first comment and concentrate on her second point.
Fuck—she might touch me. How can I protect myself from that? And suppose she does something stupid that puts herself at risk? She shifts in her seat, and a silent, sweet joy unfurls deep in my gut.
Oh, baby, I love it when you squirm. Do the vanilla thing and then maybe, once you trust me more—and I trust you to be honest and to communicate with me—we could move on and do some of the things that I like to do. My heart rate escalates; blood thrums through my body, pounding past my eardrums as I wait for her reaction. My well-being hangs in the balance. And she says…nothing! She stares at me as we pass under a streetlight and I see her clearly.
Her eyes still impossibly large in her beautiful, thinner, sadder face. These last few days have been hell. I see your pain. You are exquisite, honest, warm, strong, witty, beguilingly innocent; the list is endless. I am in awe of you.
I want you, and the thought of anyone else having you is like a knife twisting in my dark soul. Last Saturday was such a shock to my system. It was my wake-up call. Then, after I left, it dawned on me that the physical pain you inflicted was not as bad as the pain of losing you. It swings from north to south and back again in a nanosecond. Anxiety bursts in my chest and my heart starts hammering.
She said it again; the three potent words I cannot bear. And touching. But before I can respond, before the darkness takes hold, she unfastens her seatbelt and crawls across the seat and into my lap, ambushing me. She places her hands on either side of my head, staring into my eyes, and I stop breathing.
Where do I sign? Anxiety turns to joy. It expands in my chest, lighting me up from head to toe, spreading warmth in its wake. I get her back. She snuggles into my arms, her head on my shoulder, and we listen to the Rachmaninov. I go over her words. Except the touching. I have to make her understand—manage her expectations. Gently I stroke her back. Shall I tell her? Why would she want to know this shit?
My shit? Maybe I can hint at it, give her a clue. The smell. Like old and nasty. Like trash. Like drains. He drinks brown licker. From a bottle. I fight him. But he laughs. And takes a puff.
The end of the cigarette shines bright red and orange. I shudder as my memories and nightmares float together like smoke from his discarded cigarette, fogging my brain, dragging me back to a time of fear and impotence.
I tell Ana I remember it all and she tightens her hold on me. Her cheek on my neck. Her soft, warm skin against mine, bringing me back to the now. When she finally killed herself, it took four days for someone to raise the alarm and find us. I remember that. She kisses my neck, a soft, tender press of her lips onto my skin. My sweet, compassionate Ana. My exhaustion catches up with me.
Several sleepless nights plagued with nightmares have taken their toll. I want to stop thinking. I never had nightmares when she was sleeping at my side.
Leaning back, I close my eyes, saying nothing, because I have nothing more to say. Like me. I hold her, enjoying her weight on me, honored that she can sleep on me. Now all I have to do is keep her, which will be challenging enough. My first vanilla relationship—who would have thought?
I dare a quick peek at Elena as her scarlet lips curl into a smile and she crosses her arms, flogger in hand.
I see. She walks around me as I stand naked in her basement. That, and the smell of her expensive perfume. My body begins to respond. She laughs. And I try, really try, to bring my body to heel. Though perhaps you should be rewarded for good behavior, she purrs. And she hits me again, across my chest this time, but soft, more playful.
The flogger flies again, stinging my ass, and my legs quiver in response. Hold still, she warns. And I stand straight, waiting for the next blow. When I open my eyes, Ana stands before me. She caresses my cheek and smiles. I love you, she says. And for a moment I feel giddy. A stupid grin splits my face and I shake my head. Have I ever felt like this? There are so many possibilities. I kiss her hair and rest my chin on her head. I gaze down at my sleeping beauty.
Her lips are gently parted, her dark lashes fanned out, shadowing her face. And I remember watching her sleep at The Heathman, that first time. She looked so peaceful then; she looks peaceful now. Her eyelashes flutter and she opens her eyes. Tell me what she needs. I want her to be confident enough to express her desires.
All of them. I lift her off my lap when Taylor pulls up at the curb beside her apartment. I climb out of the car, walk to her door, and open it for her. She looks sleepy and adorable as she struggles out of the car.
This is it. Will she accept my gift? This is the final stage of my campaign to win her back. Opening the trunk, I grab the gift box that contains her Mac, her phone, and an iPad. She looks from the box to me with suspicion. If you see a Google Drive link instead of source url, means that the file witch you will get after approval is just a summary of original book or the file has been already removed.
Loved each and every part of this book. I will definitely recommend this book to romance, adult fiction lovers. Your Rating:. Your Comment:. Home Downloads Free Downloads Darker pdf. James Submitted by: Jane Kivik. Just Now In , she published the 1 bestseller Grey, the story of Fifty Shades of Grey from the perspective of Christian Grey, and in , the chart-topping Darker , the second part of the Fifty Shades story from Christian 's point of view.
James , is a British author. She wrote the bestselling erotic romance trilogy Fifty Shades of …. Posted in : Education Law Show details. Darker Pdf El James Christian faqlaw. The main characters of this romance, adult fiction story are Anastasia … Rating : 4. A statement, made under penalty of perjury, that the Rating : 8. El james darker pdf free download, dupeliculas. And this led me to try publishing a book on Medium.
The book is a big one, nearly pages in paperback format. However, the practices use an unusual support in place of the breath — which is the more common, but deficient in particular ways, support today. But these all come from various spiritual traditions, and none of them are framed within our modern mechanistic materialism, thus there is a necessity to explain how things differ from how they are understood today, in order that the reader understand exactly what they are using. You might think this is totally inappropriate for Medium, and there are some shortcomings, but for me the biggest reason to attempt publishing this book here is the potential audience, and the availability that Medium affords me as a writer.
While there are still many physical book readers — myself among them — the option to have a book on a mobile device is just such a no-brainer. And in fact, the tools that Medium provides, which I mentioned above, are absent from ebooks.
So the biggest reason for launching a book on Medium has two aspects: availability and readers. With Medium it is different. Anyone can access Medium. And of course, the potential audience on Medium is not limited to merely members and current readers of Medium, but can be garnered via social media, word of mouth, and friends, all of whom can be directed to the Medium site, with little effort.
There is also the cost and hassle savings of not hosting your own blog, which was another alternative I considered. I still buy the domain names and setup email addresses as appropriate, but I no longer see any reason to host a website. Such small websites have the same security and hacking worries as the biggest names, and it is all on your shoulders.
I never realized just how much of a problem it is until I subscribed to a service available to Wordpress sites via a plugin called Wordfence, which not only scanned my server for hacks on a daily basis, but also monitored all traffic in and out. Once that was installed I could sit and watch the dozens of daily automated login attempts by hackers around the world trying to break into my site in order to hijack it into their botnets.
If you have a personal website it is very likely part of a botnet, or even part of a crypto-currency mining operation. For a small writer it makes little sense anymore. This is a bit frustrating — for both the reader and myself, but hey!
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